My sweet mother passed away yesterday afternoon. All of her children were there when she passed.
She was so dear, and she was loved so much. Last night, as my husband Steve & I were talking in bed, he said that he always felt that she loved him unconditionally; she really did. She would always tell us kids that she may not always like what we did, but that she would always love us.
She struggled yesterday; her breath did not come easily. She was unconscious, though, so we didn't know what she was experiencing since she couldn't tell us. We lamented that the doctor wasn't quick in responding to the nurse's plea for a liquid morphine prescription for my mom; looking back, I'm glad that he waited, since his delay let all of the children be there with her when she passed, and that was how she wanted it.
After she passed, my siblings, along with a handful of our children (her grandchildren), sat around and visited. We told stories about our mother and each other. We laughed, and we cried. We hugged and a lot of "I love you"s were said. We also planned out most of her funeral arrangements and the program for the funeral itself.
Today, I think all of my children will be around me, and Steve will be here along with my brother Bill. We will all comfort each other. What a blessing family is. God had a good plan when he sent us into family groups.
I was the baby of my family by 10 years, so I got my mom to myself a lot. She was my playmate and my best friend. I will sorely miss her. In fact, the first thing I did this morning was to check my voicemail messages and listen to and save the ones that she left to me yet again. I want to figure out how to transfer those voice recordings to something other than my voicemail so that I can have them forever. I even had a message where she was singing "Happy Birthday"; on our birthdays, my mom *always* sang Happy Birthday to us, either in person or on the phone, so that is a valuable treasure. It was nice to hear her say, "Hi kiddo" again.
The funeral will be on Thursday, if we get our way, or Friday if Thursday is too busy for the mortuary.
I'm so thankful for another experience of death that happened about 12 years ago that taught me that the person's spirit does indeed go on and that all of our existence isn't just with this outer shell. I know that she has gone on to be with family and friends that have passed away before her, and what a blessing it is that she can now move herself from place to place w/o the need for a hoyer and a wheelchair, that she has no more pain, and that she will love me and remember me and be there for me when I pass away.
Thanks for your prayers and words of comfort through the years that she has struggled and given us many scares.