My father in law is sick of critters eating his corn. In fact, he has recently resorted to blasting rock music in the corn field to make the critters evacuate. I wrote him a note, though, warning him of the evils of rock music in the corn field.
You see, a few years ago I took this picture of a hard rockin' critter, hereafter called a "chuck hog", after blaring rock music to keep them from eating our chickens' grain:
You see, rather than repelling the lot them of them, I actually attracted the rogue ones!
Scary critters those hard rockin’ chuck hogs are, too! While the classical music types just eat the corn daintily while keeping their elbows off the ground and carefully wiping the corners of their mouths on the husks, the rockin’ chuck hogs just gobble the stuff down with no regard for anyone but themselves! And be forewarned, because they may keep you awake with their loud burps, because you know, they simply have no manners!
So if any of you must crank the tunes in the corn field, you’d better be careful who you are inviting to dinner!
Just wanted to warn all y'all.
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