Balance

Balance. It is what I am currently working on. Trying to keep balance while raising six children and having a husband is sometimes a tightrope walk of the hardest kind.

I was talking to my dad a couple of days ago. After asking how everyone in my family was he ask how I was. I replied that I was o.k. He asked what that really meant and I told him that all of my children were being polite and not belligerent, so for that moment I was great. I also stated that when they change and become disobedient and had bad behavior I would be terrible. It was true, but I don't like that that is my reality. I am on a quest to change. I don't like the precarious feeling that my emotional well being lies in the choices of immature (no offense intended kids) young people.

So I am seeking balance and harmony within myself that will carry me through the hard times when others with raging hormones (namely my three teens and one 'tween whose emotions are out of balance very often due to puberty and pms) become unbalanced themselves.

It makes me think of the Ten Virgins and their oil filled lamps. I need to have enough emotional oil in my lamp that when the dark times come, and they do, I will have enough oil to get me through.

I remember my mom's morning routine when I was growing up. Every morning she plugged in the radio and drank a cup of coffee. I think that was her form of oil in her lamp and the kind of balance that I'm looking for. I'm not a coffee drinker, and I don't like noise in the morning, so her routine wouldn't bring me into balance. But I'm looking for my own morning routine. So far I have come up with eating fruit, reading my bookmarked blogs, and adding to my own blog occasionally. It seems to work. Yesterday I had no "my time" at all, and when I woke up this morning I was feeling out of sorts. As I am going through my morning routine this morning I am feeling better.

I have thought about taking a once a week Tai Chi class, just to see if that helps bring me into harmony. Maybe I'll have to try it.

One thing that definitely helps to fill my emotional lamp is being outside. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, the sunshine just seems to fill and heal my soul. I love gardening and taking care of my farm animals, so those are helpful too.

My quest is to be emotionally filled enough to hold my own even when those around me are losing it.

My day has officially started since my kids have woken up now. Wish me luck...or maybe just peace.