Sunday, May 4, 2008

Birth Order of Children

I had to share this! Enjoy!


What you wear:

*1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

*2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

*3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:

*1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

*2nd baby:* You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

*3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.


The Layette:

*1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

*2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

*3rd baby:* Boys can wear pink, can’t they?



*1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.

*2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn

*3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.



*1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

*2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

*3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.



*1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

*2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

*3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.



*1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

*2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

*3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.


Going Out:

*1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

*2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

*3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


At Home:

*1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

*2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

*3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.


Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

*1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

*2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

*3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!


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