2015 Resolutions & Mantra::Serenity::January 8

Word: Serenity
Fortune Cookie: "Sing and rejoice, fortune is smiling on you."


Steve and I went out for Chinese on New Year's Day the same way that we have for many years now. Why Chinese? I guess because I love how the table is already set to reflect a new year's ebb and flow; the placemat has the Chinese New Year's symbols. As an aside, I thought for years I was a dog, since I was born Jan of 1970 - but alas, I am a cock. The Chinese New Year, in 1970, was in February. A small, inconsequential detail, but it was an aha moment for me, since I fit so much more of the rooster's qualities than the dog. Anyway.....

As I sat and pondered, my word came easily: Serenity. It is something I've been working on for most of 2014 as well. The Serenity Prayer is one I repeat often: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I'm trying to figure out if there is a difference between "peace" and "serenity". In any case, I'd love to learn to truly be serene. At peace with all around me, even if in the midst of chaos.

I've been going to Al Anon for a while now. All that is required for Al Anon is that you have been affected by alcohol (or drugs) in some way. At first, I thought I knew who my "qualifier" was (the person whose use or abuse has brought you to Al Anon), but as I attended longer, I realize that I have several, which makes me wonder: if we were all totally honest, wouldn't everyone be in an Al Anon group? ;)

The purpose of Al Anon is to learn serenity, so that if life with your alcoholic qualifier is chaos, you can still be at peace inside yourself.

It reminds me a lot of Buddhism, in fact, many of the principles are the same: detachment, no expectations, no violence in word or action. They are not easy concepts, but they are very simple.

Al Anon is a lot like AA and you pick a sponsor to help you work out your own recovery. For an Al Anon member, typically our stories look very similar: life has been chaotic and we have been the ones to pick up the pieces often. We tend to be controlling - trying to organize the chaos has been our goal, yet at some point along the way we realize that "control" is an illusion. There is a great clip about this very issue on youtube from the movie "Instinct":


While Al Anon teaches the lessons in a much safer and less stressful environment than on that movie clip ;), I think we all go through our own trials that make us realize that control is not up to us. It is in our Higher Power's (for me, God) hands only, and the sooner that we realize that, the sooner that we can have serenity. The first three steps are repeated over and over and over. In short, the first 3 Steps look very much like: 1) I can't 2) He/She can 3) I will let Him/Her, and all of us in group will admit that we go back to those first 3 steps several times a day.

Al Anon might be specifically for the effects of alcohol & drug use/abuse that has affected us, but the principles that are learned apply to all of life: our children, especially teenagers and young adults, disease, job loss, depression, etc etc etc. Every single issue in life is out of our control. Buddhism/Al Anon concepts and principles help us to see and deal with those and realize that we never had control in the first place.

Back to sponsors. Mine exudes serenity; it is why I chose her. I'm very grateful that God has put her in my life. She helps me put things in perspective.

Anyway, so "Serenity". I think it is a worthwhile goal, even though as I've been angry about something (that I don't have control over ;) ) and I think "Serenity" in one thought and "shut up about serenity already!" in the next. I hope that someday I can have the serenity that my sponsor does - she's had a decade longer to work on it than I have, though, so I'll cut myself some slack ;)


My other goals are:
Physically:
~ to build core strength and flexibility, and to work on endurance during aerobic activity.

In work:
~ to find joy in photography by taking more of my own pictures - macros, landscapes, and portraits of non-paying individuals (usually my family members)
~ to play with lighting more: incorporate reflected light bouncing off of surfaces like the ground, side of a building, the side of the rocks on a mountain, etc that makes portraits more interesting
~ learn more photoshop skills, especially with making portraits the exact colors I want (there's that control thing popping in LOL ;) )

Spiritually:
~ learning and living Al Anon/Buddhism principles
~ faith, hope, charity
~ go wherever my Higher Power (God/The Holy Spirit) leads me
~ read and study
~ relax and enjoy where I'm at (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually)

Mental:
~ continue going to book club & reading book club's book choices (as well as my own preferred genres/books)
~ read church group's book

Those are the things I've written and thought of. I'm sure that as the year winds through, I'll adjust them and modify them to fit my situation at the moment. Flexibility in all things is very important.

I hope that you have a wonderful 2015, and even if it doesn't look exactly like you'd hoped and planned, that you will find joy and peace in it.
♥ Melody

New Year's Resolution... and no "word"::January 2

Because this blog was originally to be used as a type of journal for my family, I tend to write information that lends itself to being more personal than many blogs. Hopefully that is an attraction instead of a distraction. Today's post will be personal for me. My children will eventually read it, whether today or tomorrow on the blog, or in many tomorrows when the blog is printed out. In any case, I once again went to a Chinese restaurant for New Year's Day to reflect over 2013 and ponder on 2014.

Earlier in the day, I had thought I might be hungry for a diner's food rather than Chinese and was thinking about going to One Man Band. I decided against it because I really like the quiet to reflect on my own thoughts rather than to think on the poetry & music of someone else and One Man Band's jukebox is often playing, while the Chinese restaurant that we like is quiet. I was surprised to be greeted by Fun.'s "Carry On" as Steve & I walked into the restaurant. At first I chose to think of it as a good omen, after all, it has been on repeat in my brain & my youtube for months. After a while though, I was frustrated that we hadn't gone to One Man Band because there was a chance no one would put a quarter in the jukebox....

We stayed and ordered in spite of the music. I prayed and pondered and mentioned to Steve time and again that I felt like the proverbial blank slate - absolutely nothing was presenting itself to me in the form of a word or saying for a mantra for the year. I was surprised and saddened, because usually the thoughts come so easily....

I excused myself and went into the restroom where I hoped it would be quieter, and it was. I prayed some more, and the answer/feeling I received surprised me. This is from my journal:

This past year has been stressful and busy. The other day, I got a very hopeful feeling about 2014. I hope that feeling is correct.

I'm feeling very much like a blank slate. I've prayed and pondered and nothing is coming into my mind.

I don't know if it is because there is music on this year (at the restaurant) & I can't think, or if there is a bigger reason. Still thinking....

I just returned from the restroom. I prayed again and the feelings I received are very interesting.

I told the Lord that I felt like a blank slate & I felt from inspiration, "What is wrong w/ being a blank slate?" and that if my mind was filled w/ thoughts I wouldn't be doubting that was my answer, but when I keep thinking about feeling like a blank slate I think something must be wrong.

I got the feeling, which is true, that I take my word and overlay it on my year. What if this year, I let the year teach me what it is that I need to learn?

So this year, I will be the proverbial blank slate and wait to see what the world would like to teach me.

Usually I go out to find & fix - this year, I will wait and learn what I'm supposed to learn.

My fortune cookie said, "Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."

My goals for the year:

* "Work out" every day: planks, stretching, squatting, push ups & other strength building activities.

* Live life hanging onto the moment and learning what it offers

* Craft, quilt, cross stitch - get use out of the bifocals :)

♥

New Year's Resolutions::January 7

On New Year's Day, Steve & I stole away to a Chinese Restaurant, one of our favorite traditions.

I loved the fortune from my fortune cookie: "Don't be afraid to take a chance when the opportunity of a lifetime appears."

There is something about Chinese Restaurants that soothe me and bring balance. With the Chinese New Year zodiac placemats, it feels like the perfect place to ponder on changes I can forsee for the year and changes I'd like to make in myself and my family.

This year was no different, except that the things I forsee throughout the year will be intense and require a lot of time, skill, and attention. I could get worn down quickly: "I will be under a tremdous load, trying to be everything for everyone.....I will need to be an anchor and a mooring for my family. That means that I will need to keep myself on 'higher ground'" (from my journal)

As I prepared my mind to write down some goals (and choose a word), I closed my eyes. Every time I did, my minds eye saw a body of water that "shifts with the tide, but doesn't make waves - not stagnant, quite opposite" (from my journal)

My word/phrase this year is, "Be still"

My resolution is to "create a haven for myself and my family. Care for all aspects of self: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Do so in calmness, unhurried, planned."

Some practical applications that I hope for is to plan ahead and eat well balanced, nutritious meals; taking good quality supplements; keep the house clean and organized - it will reduce stress and illness; read scriptures daily as a family; have prayers as a family in the morning and evening.

I want to visit my naturopath and check for food allergies. I should be feeling better, not worse, after I eat, right?!....

And most importantly, I need to treat myself like I would a good friend. I have been trying to consciously do that for the past few years and have found it to be oh so important.

How about you? Are you one to pick a word or phrase for the year? Or make resolutions? Do you find that they make a difference to you?

I like it. I saw on others' blogs that they would pick a word and I thought it was a great idea; a mantra of sorts. And I've always liked resolutions, clean slates, out with the old - in with the new. January is a cold, bitter month, but the cleansing of it does me good.

Have a wonderful day! And if you have blogged about your resolutions, leave a link in the comments; or, if you'd like to tell me about them in the comments, I'd love to hear them! :)

Still Life::Vegies & New Year's Resolutions

Yesterday, Steve brought home some vegies and for some reason placed them carefully on the table. I saw them, saw the beautiful, complimentary colors and had to take a picture.



I took the picture with the natural light (coming in through the window) at 4:30 p.m. The aperture was set to about 29, so that I could make sure all of the vegies were in focus; the ISO was set to 400, to prevent the graininess that my camera produces at 800; so that left the shutter speed to come up with the difference: 15 seconds. A tripod had to be used, of course, but the final result was just what I was looking for: beautiful colors, all in focus, and the lighting was perfect. (In fact, I loved it so much I sent the pic to the printer's for 4x6 and 5x7 copies that will be in my etsy shop sometime next week. :)

Also yesterday I came up with some resolutions and my word: Bloom.
Here is what I wrote down:

Word: Bloom
Goal:

1) Turn my home into a haven.I have looked at other houses, but none have been able to win over my heart more than the one I’m in.
I like the cottage look of my home. I like my neighbors and my neighborhood. I like the people in my small town and I like that they know and like me and my family.

I want to see the shortcomings in my home and try to find ways to turn them around into things that add beauty and value.
For instance:
I don’t like that we notice the billboard & freeway. Solution: lacy draperies would work nicely to add beauty and also to semi block the view.
I need to put the fence back up and paint the house this year.
I need to fix the flooring: it will never be any better than it is right now until it is fixed.
Organize what we have, store what we need/want, and get rid of stuff we won’t use or that is unusable.

2) Become a part of the/a community (town related “stuff”) I’m in, or join a group to give me that sense of belonging.

3) Make sure I’m living and not just surviving. The past few years have made it hard to concentrate on taking care of myself, but I can’t live that way very long. Take the time (and a little money, if needed) to take care of myself. (Photography only counts if it is truly play.)

4) Worry less about what people might think of me and worry more about how I view myself. In the end, I will be a better person for it.

5) Play harder. I work and I rest. I need to allow myself to play more often and with more enthusiasm.

6) Have a schedule as part of my routine. Take time to sit down and evaluate how my day is going and make a schedule, when needed, to get myself back on track.

7) Live healthier.
Take good quality supplements.
Eat healthy foods.
Make menus to ensure that over-all nutrition is happening.
Be active: Exercise every day for at least 30 minutes, whether it is going for a walk, working out with a video, or playing an active game/sport.

I have some things to work on, schedules to make, and menus to plan.

What about you? Are you a word & resolution person too? I've been looking around at other people's blogs to see what they are doing, and it seems to be about 50/50. If you feel comfortable sharing in the comments, I'd love to know about yours.

Have a terrific day!

My New Year's Phrase & words

Taken from my journal:

On New Year’s Day:
Thinking on the word: THRIVE. This past year I’ve worked on learning to nurture - even nurturing myself. This year, perhaps I need to expand that to thriving. Pull in my soil, reach way down with my roots, and spread my leaves upward. Stop subsisting & start thriving = living.

January 2, 2011:
It took me an extra day to decide on a “word”. It is more of a phrase along with a thought, though. The phrase is, “O Lord, for that which we are about to receive, make us truly grateful.” or “For what we are about to receive, Lord, make us truly grateful.” It is about the same, with just a slight variation.

The focus behind my word or phrase this year is to truly receive and to acknowledge receiving.

Too often I am given love, time, praise, thought, concern, etc., but I don’t receive it.

Think about people playing catch w/ a ball or balloon: If they receive the ball, they catch it, if they are so intent on giving back, they bat it away.

I have been batting things away.

So insistent on being a giver and not a taker, I don’t soak in the joy felt when love is shown. I think about how to give back, even being embarrassed at being given things (praise, help, etc) sometimes.

Have you ever heard children, when they don’t want to feel beholden to a person who has done a good deed to them or something given them say, “But I didn’t ask them to do it!” If we don’t receive the goodness of our fellow man or the goodness of God, but instead bat it away emotionally, we are in effect saying that same thing: “But I didn’t ask them to do it!”

If we receive it, embrace it, find true joy in it, we are being truly grateful. So, for all these things Lord, I am truly grateful.

I wanted my word to be “thrive”. To put down roots, shore myself in, and blossom, bloom, & THRIVE. But I haven’t learned how to receive yet. My shell is too thick to let myself sprout roots. I need to soften a bit first.

So, for this year, I will learn to receive with true gratitude. To learn to take with JOY what is given to me, to receive it, and then to transfer back to others that same kindness.

So again, I say: “O Lord, for all that I am about to receive throughout the year, make me truly grateful." Amen.

Coinciding “words”:
Joy Receive Gratitude

So for this year, I am going to focus more on feeling the joy and gratitude for the small gifts of time, love, service, etc. that is given to me. To truly receive those things.

I have been grateful in the past, but I haven't thought on what is happening. Perhaps life to too busy to enjoy that dandelion that is brought in. In the past, I would smile, kiss the child on the head, put the dandelion in a vase and then move on to the next item of business for the day.

This year, I will slow down. I will focus on the moment, drinking in the love that the child has shown me, the sparkle in their eye and the joy on their face, the warmth of love in my own heart. In essence, I will just be slowly down and allowing myself the gift of noticing all of those little things before I continue on with what I was doing before.

The Lord blesses me every moment of the day with things that I have taken for granted for so long that I have just come to expect it: the next breath, the next drink of water, the sunshine in the daytime and the moonlight at night, the laughter of my children, the beat of my own heart. Those things are all gifts. I intend to slow down and ponder on these things more often. To receive them with gratitude.

Sorry to be so long winded. :) I'd love to hear about the changes you'd like to see for yourself in 2011 too. :)

Have a wonderful day, full of the joys of the commonplace :)

Resolutions

I went to lunch with Steve on New Year's day and pondered over new resolutions. How I love a new year! I feel like everything is fresh and clean and waiting to start once more.

I set some resolutions for how I want to live my life, and my "word" (yep, Stephanie, I like words too. :) for the year... or at least for a season or two. (Last year's word was: Abundance, and I think it really sums up the whole of 2009.)

Most of my resolutions are emotional and spiritual: pray, meditate, read scriptures, serve others (outside of family too), create a room/space where the family can just hang out without it being my bedroom (why does everyone love my room so much?! :), learn to let things go, realize my self-worth. My word: Nurture. Nurture others, but don't forget to also nurture self.



I'm going to focus on putting on my own oxygen mask first. You know what I mean?? The reference is to the tip given before you take off on a plane: in the event of a crash, oxygen masks will fall from a compartment above; be sure to put your own mask on before putting masks on those around you. It's good advice. This year, as I nurture others, I am going to put on my own oxygen mask first. It isn't selfish, just practical. If you are so busy putting on others' masks first, you will pass out from lack of oxygen and will then be worthless for helping anyone. I think that just about summed up my problems in 2009.



How I love blank slates! I get to start again to do better; by learning from the past and looking with hope to the future I can make a great now!

(My pics were pretty random, but I wanted to dust them off and bring them out to look at again. :) I have to admit that I was feeling a lot like that camel looks a lot of last year!)

Happy 2010!

New Year's Day

You will not believe what I saw yesterday!

Steve & I were driving Jared to a friend's New Year's Day Party and we couldn't find the address (come to find out, Jared had written down the address wrong), and as we rounded a corner we could see something big and dark in a tree way up high. As we neared we could see it was a bird. We started thinking maybe it was a hawk, no, too big; maybe a vulture, no, holy cow it's a bald eagle! It was a Bald Eagle! Steve had grabbed the camera before we left home so that as we were out and about we could take pics of scenery, thank heavens! So I grabbed the camera and took these pics (I'm glad for my camera's optical zoom of 12x, because I needed it!):







Look at these pics. This was the beauty I was seeing as we were driving him. Western scenery. Isn't it beautiful?





Western scenery. Isn't it beautiful? I left the above image clickable so that you can see it a bit bigger.

So, I'm glad that Jared got the wrong address or we wouldn't have seen these beautiful things yesterday.

After we dropped Jared off we went to a local Chinese Restaurant. It was yummy! And while we were there I wrote resolutions.

They weren't the typical resolutions. I was a little surprised as things kept popping into my head that I hadn't even thought of, but that will help the organizational level in my house tremendously. Now if you are the mom of a big family and can keep up on laundry, make healthy and nutritious meals from scratch daily, and your house is an organizational wonder these goals might seems like little baby steps and maybe they are, but they are exactly what I need. I think that they are divinely inspired.

So here are mine:

~Read scriptures everyday. This is a biggie for me. Otherwise I forget what is most important.

~Be creative daily. Whether it be in writing, photography, poetry, sketching, crafts, sewing, quilting......

~Prepare weekly menues in advance.

~Teach my kids how to cook & utilize their help more.~Involve them in all aspects of food preparation:
planning
buying
preparing
cooking
presentation

~Teach all of my kids (minus Michael - but he can help me) how to wash their own clothes and make laundry easier for them with organization (their own hampers, baskets, etc.). Anybody else struggle with the endless baskets of laundry?

~Keep a house project going at all times - work on organization/finishing of 1 room at a time.

~Have healthful goodies available at all times. This is my weakness. I don't value food much, and that shows. When I was young I ate to live, and now I'm back at that point. This isn't a great way for a homemaker to be. I just read something in the book Small and Simple (a Christmas present from my mother and father in-law - Thanks Mom & Dad!) that talks about food making people feel more safe and secure. It made me think.

Have the main goal of my house be to bring Peace & Rest to all inside.

Remember Balance.

These are the ones I'd been thinking of throughout the last week, some are the same as what I came up with yesterday:
Goals for 2009:

Lose down to ideal weight. For now, that will be about 7 less pounds. My ideal has already changed once, so it might again.

Read scriptures every day.

Exercise daily. (Maybe I should spell it exorcise – Out, out you bad, flab demons!)

Do something creative every day, whether it be photography, sketching, crafting, sewing, or quilting.

Organize my bedroom (boy does it need it!) and my bedroom closet. Rechelle’s project got me started thinking about the possibilities!

Prepare for things more in advance instead of waiting until the last minute.

So that is my list. I'm excited! I can do it!

I love the tradition that I have (maybe nobody else realizes it is my tradition but Amber, who babysits for me while I do my tradition) of going out with Steve to eat or get hot cocoa and write down my resolutions. I love it! Thanks, Steve, for going with me yesterday, and Thank You, Amber for babysitting for me while I take some much needed time off.

Do you have a tradition for New Year's Day that you love?