Blakely's Blessing Day

Steve, Michael, and I went to Blakely's blessing yesterday. It was held outside in Evon and Gerardo's backyard.

It was a lovely ceremony and nice luncheon. We sat with Grandma Howe and visited - reminiscing about her days as a Mormon Missionary in Hawaii.
Just at the end of the luncheon, the black clouds rolled in and the rain downpoured, freaking Michael out. He wanted to immediately go to the car and get in, so our exit yesterday was easier than normal! Poor Mike got soaked and wanted Steve to change his shirt as soon as they got home.

I took a little more time and drove around the house we'd seen for sale close by the pond - just a couple blocks away. Only time will tell what will happen with that. The house itself is very plain - just a red brick rambler, but the YARD! It is all behind the house, making the lot deep, and it is covered with mature trees, ensuring privacy. I just may have to have a realtor take me through!

Afterward, I came home and we ate and watched tv, which is the perfect end to a Sunday.

♥ Melody

"Let me see it through your eyes"::November 2

The Bishop's Daily

November 2 - Psalms 56, 57, 58, 64, 65; Nehemiah 6:1-19; Revelation 10:1-11; Matthew 13:36-43

Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples came to him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.” (Matthew 13:36 NRSV)

According to the story the disciples did not understand the parable of the weeds. So they asked Jesus to explain it to them. My studies of the parables taught me that they were readily understandable to the hearers. Over time, however, as the church developed, the people lost touch with the social / cultural setting in which Jesus had lived. As such his parables could not be readily understood. (Like a joke that depends on a particular time and place to be understood and without which no one gets the humor.)

By the time they got around to setting the story of Jesus down into gospel narratives so much had changed that the parables needed to be explained. Unfortunately, the writers who collected the stories of Jesus and put them into the gospel form that we have, did not know what Jesus meant by them, so they created their own interpretations.

What I do like is the thought that the disciples, as depicted, did not hesitate to go to Jesus to help them understand what he meant. Since the parables often spoke of the Kingdom of God, I appreciate understanding the reign of God through Jesus. Because if we see the reign of God through Jesus then at the very same moment we do that, Jesus becomes the lens through which we see the world as well.

You see, when I look at the world I can get discouraged. There is so much that seems hopeless and bleak. But the eyes of love see goodness in people and places where my eyes see just the opposite.

As a disciple of Jesus then, I go to him and say, "Explain again to me this world and why you love it. Help me to do the same. Let me see it through your eyes."

The Bishop's Daily is written by The Right. Reverend Scott B. Hayashi, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Utah.

I needed to post this here so that I can reference it later. It really spoke to my soul. I hope that you enjoy it as well! :)

♥ Melody

We are just walking each other home::July 19

Jeremiah 23:1-4
Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! says the Lord. 2 Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who shepherd my people: It is you who have scattered my flock, and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. So I will attend to you for your evil doings, says the Lord. 3 Then I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the lands where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. 4 I will raise up shepherds over them who will shepherd them, and they shall not fear any longer, or be dismayed, nor shall any be missing, says the Lord.

I have struggled with some religious issues throughout the past year. As I talked to my priest about a few of them (over and over, in different words every time, but ultimately about the same things), he suggested that I google "spiritual abuse". I thought that was harsh, but as I did, I realize that I have had some of those abuses happen to me. Without delving to much into the specifics, but staying with the general ideas, here is an excellent article.

Today in church, the scripture (above) in Jeremiah was read, as was Psalm 23, and Mark 6:30-34, 53-56.

David, our Postulant, gave the sermon. He said that as he read these scriptures, he saw that Psalms gave the example of a good shepherd, Jeremiah, a bad shepherd, and Mark, people without a shepherd.

He said that he had always thought that a bad shepherd would be no worse than no shepherd at all, but as he read the scripture in Jeremiah in preparation to the sermon, he realized that a bad shepherd can do a lot of harm.

I don't think that a shepherd sets out to "destroy and scatter the sheep of [God's] pasture". I think that it happens when we forget that the highest law is this:

Matthew 22:36-40
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

I firmly believe that once someone feels loved and valued by God, just by their very existence, they will want to do good and be better people. You cannot be filled with God's love without it exuding from you, it's just the way the fruit of the Spirit works.

There is one thought that I hear over and over and over and over in the Episcopal Church that I love: God love you just as you are.

Bishop-elect Michael Curry said this in his sermon at the Episcopal Convention regarding the theme, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations."

"Max Lucado who’s a Christian writer says 'God loves you just the way you are, but he [doesn’t intend] to leave you that way.'"

"We are all different. Some of us are black, and some of us are white, some of us are brown, but I like that old song that says, 'Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white. They are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.' I don't care who you are, how the Lord has made you, what the world has to say about you, if you have been baptized into Jesus, you are in the Jesus Movement, and you're God's. And therein may be the gospel message of hope for the world.
There is plenty of good room for all of God's children. For in the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea, with a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me; as he died to make men holy, let us live to set all free, while God is marching on. Glory, glory hallelujah God's truth is marching on. Now, go!"

We are all responsible to be our brother's keeper. We all have the power to "destroy and scatter" God's sheep. We can each take a look at the spiritual abuse article to see if we are doing anything that may be harming someone's relationship with God (as far as the church can, anyway). Then we need to stop it.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf is one of my favorite religious leaders of our time. He reminded us to "Stop it." And he also reminded us of this great gem of advice:

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." ~ Pema Chodron

We need to deal kindly and compassionately with our fellow travelers. After all, it is what God has told us to do.

♥ Melody

In God alone::A Sabbath Day Thought::July 12

♥ Melody

A recipe for the priestly potter's clay::July 10

Many people have many different opinions about what constitutes a "good" priestly formation. I have my own "recipe" for the "priestly potter's clay".It is this:

Take equal parts of intellectual stimulation, transformative pastoral care and a creative, imaginative spirit, add several heaping spoonfuls of challenge, a few healthy dollops of questioning and doubt, and several cups of tears and sorrow. Pour into a broken and contrite heart, mixing well with an abiding love for all of God's creation, and a deep passion for God's justice and mercy. Whisk together over some 'fire in the belly' for the painstakingly slow work of finding and creating the "thin spaces" in the world. Fold mixture into the intersection of the sacred and the profane, garnish with a keen appreciation for the absurd and sprinkle liberally with laughter and joy. Allow priestly potters to work with the basic clay mixture until shaped and formed to the glory of God.

I saw this on the Telling Secrets blog, and I wanted to be able to remember it for later.

She talks a bit about becoming a Priest. One part is that of "being called" to the ministry.

Apparently, "being called", can feel like different things to different people. I have heard three such stories since I've been at St. Mary's.

The first story was from my priest, Peter. He said that he didn't ever feel anything big, just a feeling that that's what he should do, and things kept working out, one after another.

The second was from Kiffer, a fellow parishioner at St. Mary's. He said that as a young man, he felt like he was supposed to be a priest. One day he googled it and found the LDS church. He joined that church and went on a mission, but things were lacking. In 2014, he found St. Mary's and attended on Maundy Thursday; he feels that someday he will be an Episcopal Priest.

The third was from Tim, who is a Seminarian right now. He said that he just always felt that he was supposed to be a Priest.

Then there is my own story. I went to church on and off through my childhood. I settled into the LDS church at 15 because I had a crush on a cute, very LDS boy. I loved church! I loved released-time seminary in high school. I loved talking in depth about religion and philosophy. I thought that the best thing ever would be to be a Relief Society President and have my husband be Bishop.

It is interesting the number of times I've been talked to about being the relief society president, or at least in the relief society presidency: 3.

Once by my bishop back when I was 22 or 23. I think he was starting to get dementia. He called me into his office, said that he was going to be calling a new relief society presidency and told me to pick my position. I told him that whatever the Lord wanted to call me to be, I would be happy to serve. When the presidency was formed, another lady who looked very similar to me (same hair style & color and same taste in dresses) was called to be a counselor, and I was called to nothing. Odd.

Another time, when my father-in-law was my branch president, he called me into his office. He told me that he thought I would be an excellent relief society president, since I'd had so many experiences in my life that would help me relate to the ladies, but he felt that wasn't what God wanted me to do right then. He called me to be the secretary.

Then, a few years ago, a friend of mine was called to be the relief society president. She said that she prayed about me being a counselor, but she didn't feel like it was the right thing.

Very interesting stuff, I tell you.

I still love theology. I still love thinking and talking about religion and philosophy. Do I feel like I've "been called"? Who knows. I don't think it is a one time occurrence, but a little niggling in the back of your head that one day you finally understand.

Plus, there are a great many things I'd like to be when I grow up! ;)
♥ Melody

Thoughts on Eternity::July 5

As Steve & I were driving home from church today, my thoughts turned toward the complex message that the LDS Church has about Kingdom's in the afterlife. These kingdoms are taken very seriously, and of course, the Celestial is the one that most want to obtain.

When I was a member and I had teenagers, I realized that I never wanted to be a god - to be like God (that is the doctrine). If I went to the Celestial Kingdom, which I thought I did, I wanted to be the gardener - the groundskeeper, never an eternal parent.

Now that I have moved beyond the LDS Church, I am thinking that the kingdoms are created here on earth. We don't have to wait until the eternities to be part of those kingdoms. I also realized that the kingdom I want to be in is one where everyone is allowed and no one is held back. I am inclusive. I detest exclusion of ALL kinds. My dear LDS family members who are reading this are probably worried. Don't. If there really is Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial kingdoms, and if it is true that those in the higher kingdoms can visit those in the lower kingdom, even if I am in a lower kingdom, we can get together for Sunday dinner at my house. ;) No worries.

Anyway, back to my thoughts in the car. I want to be in an afterlife where all of God's children are welcome. Where all know of their worth and can feel God's love for them. When here, Christ didn't just associate with the ones that would have attained the highest of the kingdoms, but everyone.

I could never be happy somewhere that all aren't welcome.

I guess I believe that we are choosing and creating our kingdoms here. By who we associate with, who we worship with, and who we ourselves become.

I was led 9 months ago to the Episcopal Church, and I believe that it was by the hand of God that I was led there. I feel at home there. I love worshiping there.

God is kind and loving. He gives us just what we need when we need it. And for all of it, I am truly grateful.

♥ Melody

Presiding Bishop-elect Michael Curry::GC Closing Eucharist

I just watched this video, and I have to tell you that I am so excited to have him as our new Presiding Bishop. His message is funny and wise and powerful.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations."
"We are all different. Some of us are black, and some of us are white, some of us are brown, but I like that old song that says, 'Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white. They are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.' I don't care who you are, how the Lord has made you, what the world has to say about you, if you have been baptized into Jesus, you are in the Jesus Movement, and you're God's. And therein may be the gospel message of hope for the world.

There is plenty of good room for all of God's children. For in the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea, with a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me; as he died to make men holy, let us live to set all free, while God is marching on. Glory, glory hallelujah God's truth is marching on. Now, go!"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj_N3OsHxxo
♥ Melody

More Searching for Sunday quotes::Chapter 22 "Wine"

From Searching for Sunday:
"It may be tempting to dismiss the miracle [turning water into wine] and Cana as a mere magic trick, an example of Jesus flexing his messianic muscles before getting to the real work of restoring sight to the blind and helping the paralyzed off their mats. But this is only because we have such a hard time believing that God cares about our routine realities, that God's glory resides in the stuff of everyday life, just waiting to be seen."

"God works through life, through people, and through physical, tangible, and material reality to communicate his healing presence in our lives," explains Robert E. Webber when describing the principle of sacrament. "God does not meet us outside of life in an esoteric manner. Rather, he meets us through life incidents, and particularly through the sacraments of the church. Sacrament, then is a way of encountering the mystery."

"But our God is is the business of transforming ordinary things into holy things, scraps of food into feasts and empty purification vessels into fountains of fine wine. This God knows his way around the world, so there's no need to fear, no need to withhold, no need to stake a claim. There's always enough - just taste and see. There's always and ever enough."

♥ Melody

More quotes from "Searching for Sunday"::June 9

As I read Searching for Sunday, I keep wanting to write a blogpost using her words and thoughts as a springboard, but I don't, and then there is another thought and another and another.

Here are the some of the things that have jumped out at me. Perhaps sometimes soon I will sit down and write my own thoughts, but for now, here are some things that have touched my heart.

"The climax of the weekend happened on Saturday night with a communion service for all the students, volunteers, chaperones, and ministers. A Methodist pastor presided over the table, but asked me and a few of the student leaders to help distribute the bread and wine.

As I stood at the front of the rustic camp meeting roo, holding a loaf of bread in one hand and tearing off a piece at a time with the other, hundreds of people appreoaced, one at a time, with their hands held out, ready to receive.

'This is Christ's body, broken for you,' I said.

I said it over and over again, to each person who came to the table...

I said it more than three hundred times - until at last I believed it, at last I understood: it wasn't my job to do right by these kids; this wasn't about me at all. I could only proclaim the great mystery of faith - that Christ has died, Christ has risen, and Christ will come again, and that somehow, some way, this is enough. This body and this blood is enough.

At Eagle Eyrie I learned why it's so important for pastors to serve communion. It's important because it steals the show. It's important because it shoves you and your ego ad your expectations out of the way so Jesus can do his thing. It reminds you that grace is as abundant as tears and faith as simple as food.

'When [Jesus] wanted fully to explain what his forthcoming death was all about,' writes New Testaments scholar N.T. Wright, 'he didn't give a theory. He didn't even give them a set of scriptural texts. He gave them a meal.'

I guess sometimes you just have to taste and see...

On the days when I am hungry - for community, for peace, for belief - I remember what it was like to feed people Jesus, and for people to feed Jesus to me. And those pieces of memory multiply, like the bread that fed the five thousand, spilling out of their baskets and filling every hollow space. Communion doesn't answer every question, nor does it keep my stomach from rumbling from time to time, but I have found that it is enough. It is always and ever enough."

"Grace cannot prevail," writes Robert Farrar Capon, "until our lifelong certainty that someone is keeping score has run out of steam and collapsed."

"'No one has been 'worthy' to receive communion,' writes Alexander Schmemann, 'no one has been prepared for it. At this point all merits, all righteousness, all devotions disappear and dissolve. Life comes again to us as a Gift, a free and divine gift...Everything is free, nothing is due and yet all is given. And, therefore, the greatest humility and obedience is to accept the fit, to say yes - in joy and gratitude.'"

And then there is chapter Twenty-one... I could quote that whole chapter! I will quote one paragraph that seems to sum up the message:
"But the gospel doesn't need a coalition devoted to keeping the wrong people out. It needs a family of sinners, saved by grace, committed to tearing down the walls, throwing open the doors and shouting, 'Welcome! There is bread and wine. Come eat with us and talk.' This isn't a kingdom for the worthy; it's a kingdom for the hungry."

By the time I made it St. Mary's, I was hungry. My church had been hurting my heart for a long time, and I had finally ceased going after two people were excommunicated. Excommunication is violent, and I don't believe that any mortal can kick someone out of Christ's church nor take away their eternal salvation.

I first went to St. Mary's for Al Anon. I was impressed by the red front doors. Red symbolizes sin in my mind, and a church that recognizes everyone for exactly what we all are: sinners, felt good. I looked up "red door church" and found that it was an Episcopal Church. As I read what the Episcopalians believed and who was included at the Lord's Table, I was impressed and decided to visit. (I have since learned why the doors are red, 'Red doors traditionally mean 'sanctuary' --the ground beyond the doors is holy, and anyone who goes through them is safe from harm. Some churches also say the red signifies the blood of Christ that has been shed so that all who come to God's care may be saved. In ancient times, no one could pursue an enemy past red doors into a church, and certainly no one could be harmed or captured inside a church.' - Episcopal Life Archives)

My first visit, I took Jared with me, and I told him that I wouldn't be taking communion - what if I did it wrong?! When the moment came for my row of parishioners to go forward to the rail, I couldn't stay seated - I needed that bread and wine. And I went up. And I don't know if I did it right, and no one told me that I did it wrong. "The Body of Christ, the bread of heaven." "The Blood of Christ, the cup of salvation." I had needed that.

Months later, as I was reading the Book of Common Prayer, I discovered prayers that individuals can say before and after Eucharist (what Episcopalians call communion):

Before Worship:
O Almighty God, who pourest out on all who desire it the spirit of grace and of supplication: Deliver us, when we draw near to thee, from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind, that with steadfast thoughts ad kindled affections we may worship thee in spirit and in truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Before Receiving Communion:
Be present, be present, O Jesus, our great High Priest, as you were present with your disciples, and be known to us in the breaking of bread; who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and for ever. Amen

After Receiving Communion:
O Lord Jesus Christ, who in a wonderful Sacrament hast left unto us a memorial of thy passion: Grant us, we beseech thee, so to venerate the sacred mysteries of thy Body and Blood, that we may ever perceive within ourselves the fruit of thy redemption; who livest and reignest with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen."

After Worship:
Grant, we beseech thee, Almighty God, that the words which we have heard this day with our outward ears, may, through thy grace, be so grafted inwardly in our hearts, that they may bring forth in us the fruit of good living, to the honor and praise of thy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And then, at the close of the meeting, these parting words,
"And now, Father, send us out
to do the work you have given us to do,
to love and serve you
as faithful witnesses of Christ our Lord.
To him, to you, and to the Holy Spirit
be honor and glory, now and forever."

Amen.
<3 Melody

Alcuin of York's prayer::June 4

Yesterday, as I was reading searching for sunday, I came upon the following prayer by Alcuin of York and I fell in love with it:

God, go with us. Help us to be an honor to the Church.

Give us the grace to follow Christ’s word,

to be clear in our task and careful in our speech.

Give us open hands and joyful hearts.

Let Christ be on our lips.

May our lives reflect a love of truth and compassion.

Let no one come to us and go away sad.

May we offer hope to the poor,

and solace to the disheartened.

Let us so walk before God’s people,

that those who follow us might come into his kingdom.

Let us sow living seeds, words that are quick with life,

that faith may be the harvest in people’s hearts.

In word and in example let your light shine

in the dark like the morning star.

Do not allow the wealth of the world or its enchantment

flatter us into silence as to your truth.

Do not permit the powerful, or judges,

or our dearest friends

to keep us from professing what is right.

Amen.
♥ Melody

Rachel Held Evans' interview and blog post links

My priest sent me this article to see what I thought about it. I loved it!! It sums up my feelings, and wraps them up in a concise, nice, neat, and funny package with a bow on top.

Another great thing about that article is taht it linked to another article (this one) that is an interview with Rachel Held Evans that I read about a week ago and loved, and I've been looking for it ever since. It explains much of what I love about the Episcopal church as well.

My reason for posting the here is that anyone who is wondering more about why I'm going to an Episcopal church can read the articles - especially the interview. My views are very similar to hers. Also, I want to be able to go back and read them later; I never lose things on my blog (like the addresses of articles I want to re-read) like I do in real life! ;)

♥ Melody

John 9:35-38

John 9:35-38 (New Living Translation (NLT)) (After Jesus had healed the blind man, and the Jews had cast the blind man out after questioning him about who had healed his blindness)

35 When Jesus heard what had happened, he found the man and asked, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

36 The man answered, “Who is he, sir? I want to believe in him.”

37 “You have seen him,” Jesus said, “and he is speaking to you!”

38 “Yes, Lord, I believe!” the man said. And he worshiped Jesus.

Different scriptures affect people differently. The kind of faith like the blind man had is the kind of faith that I strive for: I may be told that TRUTH looks one way, but when it comes looking differently than I expected, I recognize it for what it is, because I'm feeling (and discerning) with my heart and spirit. The Jews, though they had physical sight, were blind to who Jesus was.

My hope is that I can always have faith and discernment like that. The Jews entirely missed the Messiah that they had been waiting and watching for because he wasn't who they expected him to be. I hope that my heart will always be sensitive enough to hear and know the Lord.
♥ Melody

Prayer for the Day::February 23

Yesterday after church, a few parents sat and talked with Father Peter for a while. He was talking about using (and how to use) the Book of Common Prayer in our daily lives. He shared one of his favorite morning prayers, found on page 461, and I love it:

"This is another day, O Lord. I know not what it will bring forth, but make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be. If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. Make these words more than words, and give me the Spirit of Jesus. Amen."

And I add my Amen to that too.
♥ Melody

This Moment::Ash Wednesday

Photo by GRANT HINDSLEY, Daily Herald

{this moment} ~ A Friday ritual. A single photo capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

On Wednesday, after taking Michael to Shriner's Hospital for a check up, we stopped by church for the noon service for Ash Wednesday. This is our first time celebrating Lent, and the service was beautiful.

Today, the church posted pictures that the newspaper had taken, and Steve, Michael and I were in one of them :)
♥ Melody

"The Blessing"::December 22

I saw this on a blog that I read, loved it, and wanted to share it :)



♥ Melody

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.::November 24

Over the weekend, I pondered on the words that Severus Snape said to Harry Potter as he was dying. "Look...at...me..." Harry caught up the silver strands of memories dripping from Snape, stored it, and later looked at in it Dumbledore's pensieve. Before that moment, no one had ever truly seen Snape - his childhood, his young adult life, and later his adult life as a double agent. He was a misunderstood soul right up to the end. "Look...at...me" The real me, the me I was when no one else was around.

In _Speaker of the Dead_, Ender learns all of the dead person's life, the good, the bad, the ugly, and then tells it as it is, without apology or embarrassment.

There is something so profound about the simple thought to, "Look at me." To see the great whole.

I have been interested in such things since I was at least 11. I remember asking my mother to come outside and talk to me. As she gathered up her cigarettes, lighter and her glass of water, I ran outside and got 2 camping chairs and set them up. When she came outside, I asked her to sit down (very proper, I was) and then proceeded to ask her to tell me about herself. (What child does that?!) But it was important to me. It still is. I love to discover things about people that explains why they believe the way they do and do what they do. People are complex, and an event that happened 30 years before could be haunting or inspiring them still.

Yesterday in church, one of my growing up moments flashed back to me. When I heard the words “When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him," I lit up. This was one of the first places that I discovered God; one of the first time that I ever read scripture on my own. It took me back to the summer of 1985, back to the very beginning of my spiritual awakening. Up to that point: I prayed. Sometimes. I had faith in God. When my mom reminded me.

That summer when we were at family reunion, I found my dad's Bible in the camping trailer and I took it outside, sat down on a camping chair, and opened the Bible to Matthew 25 purely by chance. My dad happened to walk by (I think he'd been fishing, but I'm not positive) and asked what I was reading. "The Bible," I answered. "Why? Are you that damn bored?" was his response. LOL :) My dad wasn't much of a religious man until later on - about '99 is what I'm remembering. We all have our own spiritual awakenings happen exactly when we're ready for them.

My dad didn't hang around, but came and left fairly quickly and I got back to reading.

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

That passage hit me so hard! It resonated with me on a level that I didn't yet understand. I was so excited that I shared it with my step-sister Jalene; it didn't resonate with her like it did me. I had found a treasure.

That passage sums up how I feel about religion more than any other. Heck, it sums up life more than any other!

A stranger. A prisoner. Naked. Sound like someone that we want to walk right up to and take care of? No, that's why so many don't. Me included, many times. It is uncomfortable. It is scary. It isn't what is done. But it is what is asked.

Over the weekend I've thought of my vows for eternity. It feels like a secure place to be, after you are part of a ceremony that ties up your eternity with pretty bows and ribbons. But into my mind comes the other thoughts. The ones where LGBTQ are tolerated, and even loved and accepted as long as they don't act on their gayness. Where women can be separate but equal; if they are loud about wanting to just be "equal", they will be "counseled with love" and if they don't back down, they will be stripped of their eternal salvation - their family ties broken, their covenants as though they never existed...

In church on Sunday, a couple sat in front of me. Two men. I always see them together at church. Are they just friends? During the offering of the Peace, they hugged. Hugging is typically what husbands and wives do during this part of the service (though I'm sure some people are huggers with others). Huh. Cool. People saw them hug. I'm sure the priest has seen them hug before. I assume that they are together. I assume that others assume the same thing. And the people came and shook their hands and smiled at them anyway. That isn't part of what the Master hung salvation on in that passage: smiling and shaking hands with two gay men, but in my head it applies.

After a week of thoughtfulness, melancholy, anger, frustration, I was at the pinnacle of my own belief system: God insists that we love each other as ourselves. He insists that we show kindness and mercy. He insists that it is important, even if it is uncomfortable, scary, or against societal norms. When asked what the great commandment was, Jesus answered,
(Matthew 22)

37 ...Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Although it is simple, it is not easy.

In church yesterday, I saw this happen. I witnessed it with my own eyes. It made my heart full.
♥ Melody

P.S.(And I sat in front of the stained glass window again. My day is made so much "gladder" when my program, Book of Common Prayer, and Hymn book reflects the colors of those windows :) )

P.S.S. As I read this over again, I realize that the first part about Snape, about Ender, and about my mom seem a mash up, but really, this new awakening I'm having, this metamorphic journey that I'm on, is a part of me that feels very vulnerable. It feels like the dream where I show up to school in my pajamas. Because there are many who will be saddened or upset that I'm looking at things in new ways that don't go along with the old, I feel like I should hide and keep quiet. But there is a part of me that wants you to "Look at me" long before I'm gone, unlike Snape.

I've heard that the only way to live wholeheartedly is to be vulnerable. To live as honest and open a life as you can. I agree. To live in fear of how others will view you, to keep those things hidden away attracts the things that live in the dark: fear, guilt, and shame. I have no desire to live that way. Also, for the most part, I really love the journey I'm on. It is hard and uncomfortable sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it. And I'm so thankful to the Lord for shining light on my pathway as I walk along.

The 10 Virgins::A different take::November 9

Today in church, Deacon Craig gave a sermon on the 10 Virgins. He called them "Bridesmaids" instead of virgins, and the message was different than I'd ever heard before, and I loved it.

He told the story and then gave his opinion on what went wrong. He said that he felt it didn't have to do with being underprepared with oil, but with them not believing and trusting God. After all, Jesus was a God of miracles. Hadn't he turned water to wine? Fed over 5 thousand with just 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish? So when the virgins/bridesmaids worried that their oil wasn't sufficient, they went looking to buy more/provide their own oil.

Deacon Craig reminded us that their lamps' wicks were already trimmed and lit, they were just worried that what they had wouldn't be enough - they wouldn't be enough - so tried (on their own) to get more oil. We know what happened: they were late and the Master did not open the door to let them in - he said that he didn't know them. Who knows? Perhaps the lighting would have been so bright inside the banquet hall that they wouldn't have needed their lamps at all?
♥Melody