Sunday, January 20, 2013

A bit of rambling::January 20

For years, I felt like what I did wasn't important. After all, when Steve worked from home and all I was doing was raising children and homeschooling, people would call and leave messages for Steve with me because they knew he was busy, and they didn't want to disturb him.....

For years, I have labeled myself as a Facilitator. I make things happen, get people where they need to be, and make life as easy for them as I can. There is a lot of work behind the scenes that goes on to make things run efficiently.

Lately, especially since I became a member of facebook, I realize that I am also a cheerleader. I enjoy "liking" people's things, and if I can think of something witty or of worth, I might even comment. "Liking" things is important to me. I like to see who "liked" my stuff; it makes me feel loved when people go out of their way to click that little button for me, so I make sure and do it for others. In real life, I go out of my way to give the gift of a smile, a warm comment, or just holding the door open for someone at the store. It doesn't have to be a big thing to just acknowledge someone else's existence and try to let them know that someone has seen them; hopefully, I am making the world a better place one smile and one comment at a time.

In my lifetime, I have also been concerned about being a good example. I haven't ever wanted to trip anyone else up in my life's journey.

Perhaps I may be called a bridge builder; that is an important title.

The Bridge Builder
An old man going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening cold and gray,
To a chasm vast and deep and wide.
Through which was flowing a sullen tide
The old man crossed in the twilight dim,
The sullen stream had no fear for him;
But he turned when safe on the other side
And built a bridge to span the tide.

“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,
“You are wasting your strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day,
You never again will pass this way;
You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

The builder lifted his old gray head;
“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
“There followed after me to-day
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been as naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”

I remember being a senior in high school, and one of my younger friends, a freshman or sophomore, wrote that she had been watching my example throughout year. It didn't make me feel warm fuzzy, it made me panic. I knew that I had made some bad choices that year, and I certainly hope she hadn't seen those if she was looking to me as an example!!

Years later, when I was a single mom after going through a divorce, there was a teenager who lived across the street from me. I had babysat him when he was a boy, and now he mowed my lawn, and I was friends with him and his mom. There came a day when I was very sick with a stomach flu. I was dating Steve at the time and ask him if he could come to my house after work that night and take care of the kids for me. He did. He made them dinner, and then sang them to sleep, just like we both usually did every night. He also sang me to sleep that night, and he fell asleep in the kids' room.

I woke up about 2 o'clock in the morning and realized that he was asleep at my house. I was still so sick that I didn't want to get out of bed, but I thought of Sam. I didn't want him to think that Steve and I slept together before we were married, because we didn't, and because I didn't want to set that kind of an example for him. I knew that if he saw Steve's car parked outside of my house, that is exactly what he would think. So, I got out of bed and felt like a human pinball as I bounced off the walls all they way to the kids' room. I woke Steve up and told him thank you for taking care of the kids, but that he needed to go home. He told me that he could just sleep on the floor of the kids' room in case they woke up in the middle of the night and that I could just explain to Sam the next day. But, I knew that kids believe what they see a lot more than what they're told, so I insisted that he go.

Years later, now in fact, I still worry about what kind of an example I set. You see, I am a bridge builder, not a bridge burner.

And I think that "like"ing things is important. It lets people know that you see them and like the way they think, and who doesn't need that confirmation?

And I facilitate. I help make life easier for people, and who can't use that?

I've noticed that my daughter Amber has taken to being a facilitator now that she is a wife, and she is a "like"er too, only since she doesn't have the internet, she is a real life liker & encourages those around her. I'm proud of her for being how she is, because there really isn't glory in it, and it is difficult to look past the nose on your own face sometimes, but she still does it. Probably because she saw the examples of people who've gone before. And now she is the example.

And so life goes. On and on. Never stopping or taking pause. And our part is to do our best as we go on too, even if it seems that other's don't really see the important things we do behind the scenes, they are noticed and set the example for the next generation.

Enjoy your Sunday today, whether it is your Holyday or your Holiday, it is an important day of the week.


  1. Reading this post made me cry a little bit. I think you are wonderful. Being a facilitator and a bridge builder are so important (just not flashy). I am constantly working to be more like what you have already achieved

    <3 Rebecca

  2. Thanks Rebecca :) I read your blog, and you are exactly like that too. It is tricky work to be an involved mom & supportive wife, and that is exactly what I see you being. You are an amazing at all of the little things that you do to better your family's life ♥