Caution: Ranting.

So it happened again.

I took Jessica to the diabetes clinic again today. And met with the same nurse. 

Last night I had to call her because Jessica's blood sugar level went down to 46. She dismissed it. It wasn't *that* low. (BTW, she found it low, not because she *felt* low, but because I went against the nurses direction to not test except before breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime, and had her check 2 hours after eating to make sure his dose of insulin was doing exactly what it needed to be doing. She was zoned out watching tv and didn't notice how awful she felt.) 

And then today, when she said "So you checked her blood sugar in the middle of the night, I assume, and found that she was still alive." I said, yeah, and then this morning she was going to go to school without eating anything at all until lunch until I found out and made her eat some of her lunch for breakfast and went and bought him a sandwich to replace her lunch. She replied that it is perfectly okay to fast. WTH?? 

And then she pulled out a pamphlet about rules for family and friends of a diabetic which states that she has the right to no one looking over her shoulder at her blood sugar numbers. That unsolicited advice is not welcome. and the list of "rules" of "politeness" went on and on. And she gave it to her, right after I was telling her about this morning's problems! 

Then, later on, she told a story of how a girl managed her diabetes just right, and then one day she had enough and ate the entire carton of ice cream in the freezer and didn't adjust her insulin. "And that's okay." she said. To which Steve piped up and told Jessica, "What she means is, it isn't okay to eat all of the ice cream and not adjust her insulin, but that she needed to realize that she made a mistake and just move on and do what she should from there." The nurse, without acknowledging Steve said, "It's okay." Again, WTH?? 

Then another RN/CDE (certified diabetes educator) came in the room and the first nurse told him how she'd given Jessica the pamphlet. He (the RN/CDE) then told about this cartoon that he thought was so hilarious. This boy is sitting at the kitchen table and his mother walks in and asks if he's taken his blood sugar. Through gritted teeth the boy said "yes" and she goes on "harassing" him while the boy is disgusted at her. And he said that he loves showing the pediatric kids that cartoon. Then, I'm not sure if he saw my jaw dropped to the ground or what, but he said, "And that just goes to show that if you manage your diabetes correctly, you're mom won't have to (I don't remember the exact word he used) nag you". AGAIN! WTH????? 

So then, he said that he needed to manage her own diabetes, and because I'd practiced all day long I piped up (and startled myself, to be honest) and said, "I disagree." He looked at me and said, "Okay. Why?" To which I stated what I've been thinking for the past 2 weeks: Because she is 15! Because I still have to remind her to take a shower, and change her socks and underwear. She is a great kid, very smart, but she is *just* a kid. And she doesn't have to do this alone. Our family is on her team to help her." To which he replied that I am not a player on team. That *he* is the player on the team, and I'm the coach. (which really, has meant nothing. They do not talk to me, they talk to Jessica only.) To which I replied, "Right, which means that I *make* the rules and she *follows* the rules." (cheering from the inside of my head right now!!) 

I have *never* been treated like this when I've taken a kid to the doctor. At other occasions the docs ask how "mom" is doing and reassure that they understand that this is just as hard on the parents. Not at this place. And I've had it. I hate the fact that they made me feel so...so...overprotective, and that vigilance is a bad thing. I hate that they encourage rebelliousness. That they portray mothers as something to put up with. It just isn't right. So, with Debra's help, I'll set up an appointment with a pediatric diabetes doc. Hopefully they will foster healthy family cohesion. Hopefully they won't simply dismiss an idea simply because the mother said it. Hopefully they will teach Jessica that if you make a mistake it *is not okay*, but something to be accepted and move on, ready to do better in the future. Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening.