Wednesday, February 11, 2015

On Becoming Real::February 11

I just had such a powerful, emotional experience that I had to write it down before I forgot.

I was reading in Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly and I read this:
As I look back on what I've learned about shame, gender, and worthiness, the greatest lesson is this: If we're going to find our way out of shame and back into each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of what we're supposed to be is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.
At this point in the story, I smile, thinking about becoming real. Becoming real is synonymous to me with The Velveteen Rabbit's skin horse. In fact, I've written about it here.

The next line that Brene wrote totally took me off guard.
I'll leave you with this passage from the 1922 children's classic, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.

A sob choked out of me, and I offered up a prayer to God that simply said, "Thank you for the stories, fables, legends, and parables that link us all together. For those writings that tie us all together and all we have to do is mention a part in a story and we understand each other on a deep level without even having to describe in depth how we feel." (I'm not sure why I "felt" it so strongly though. I have that strong of a reaction very rarely, so they make such an impression when they do happen. I believe it was a visceral response to feeling such a deep connection to another human being - it felt like she had read my mind.)

What a blessing that we have those things: scripture stories, children's stories, novels, tv shows, movies. That all of us somehow can deeply connect with messages in those stories and are connected to each other with and through them.

I'll leave you with the rest of the quote by Brene that I read after I'd composed myself, and then the quote that we both thought of when we thought about "becoming real":

(I'll leave you with this passage from the 1922 children's classic, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.) My friend DeeDee Parker Wright sent it to me last year with a note that said, "This is what being Wholehearted is all about." I agree. It's a beautiful reminder of how much easier it is to become real when we know we're loved:

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Yes, exactly.
♥ Melody

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