On Conflict

"Indeed, strong reactivity in harsh circumstances is normal. It is not pain translated into reactive positions that is the ultimate danger. Rather, if what is intended to be immediate becomes longstanding, a pattern develops, stubborn in its resistance to change. Strong anxiety will override good sense, commitment to beliefs, clarity, direction, creativity, and response. The system locks itself into its own automatic and defensive processes. In essence, the system chooses immediate security over learning, harmony over transformation, passivity and helplessness over stewardship, disease over change, the elimination of symptoms over altering the reactive processes. It does not trust what is difficult." Peter L. Steinke, "How Your Church Family Works - Understanding Congregations as Emotional Systems"

This is a great, enlightening thought.

I am one who will jump into a discussion, and may even do so passionately and with a high emotional response. I have been taught by how some react that is is "bad" and, honestly, on an emotional level, with people unable to talk through it, it feels bad.

This idea that when you see something is wrong, you recognize it, you name it, you say it and then you work through being "good" is a new idea. It it is typically what I do. Sometimes, it *feels* bad, though. Right now, I'm in the middle of that "badness." It feel so super shitty.

But as I look back at the "moment" and as I look at where I am right now - I think I'm exactly where I need to be. In a deep, dark pile of shit, and, though I hope that I come out smelling like a rose, it will be what it will be.

I, however all of this turns out, will never be the same again.
♥ Melody

My Valentine and me

Our Daily Prayer (adapted from the Book of Common Prayer)

Almighty God, giver of life and love, bless [Steve and me].
Grant [us] wisdom and devotion in the ordering of [our] common
life, that [we] may be to the other a strength in need, a
counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion
in joy. And so knit [our] wills together in your will and [our]
spirits in your Spirit, that we may live together in love and
peace all the days of [our] life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Steve and I have been together for 21 years. Nearly half of our lives has been spent together. Incredible!

There is an activity weaving its way through facebook for couples - I'll play along here on the blog.

Okay couples... ❤Valentine's Love Story.

Copy & Paste... Then fill in with your answers.
1. Anniversary? November 22, 1995

2. First date? Joseph Smith story at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building in SLC

3. How did you meet? Dancing at Jakes'

4. What is "your song"? we don't have one (but my song for us is "Not a Moment too Soon," by Tim McGraw)

5. Do you remember the first movie you watched together? yep (see above)

6. First road trip together? On our honeymoon - to Wyoming for Steve to meet my family

7. Do you have kid/s? Yep

8. Which of you is older? me

9. Who was interested first? he was - I thought he was 18 and to be avoided. LOL :)

10. More sensitive? equally

11. Worst temper? me

12. Funniest? both

13. More social? he is

14. More stubborn? me

15. Wakes up first? depends on the day - I wake up first, usually, but he gets up first.

16. Has the bigger family?he does

17. Eats the most? he does

18. Who said I love you first? I think he did...perhaps me? I remember him telling me, though

19. Hogs the remote? neither - he hands it to me

20. Better cook? both, but different foods

21. Hogs the bed? neither

Happy Valentine's Day, Steve! I love you!
♥ Melody

Music to sooth my soul::February 9

This one has got to be my favorite right now: "Drops of Jupiter," by Train.




Followed closely by Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud."




But for the past couple of days, this one has been exactly what I need.
Creedence Clearwater Revival: "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"



♥ Melody